What are some funny and smart quotes?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

PC modding repository Nexus Mods has a new owner - The Verge

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

My waist finally looks like how it did before I had kids but I didn’t lose weight. Why am I still 15 lbs from my starting weight?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

What happens if a parent refuses to let their child be transgender? What happens if the parent tries their hardest not to allow their child to be trans, like flushing every bottle of their trans child's HRT down the toilet?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”